My Thinkin' Blog

For a long time I was dealing with a difficult and stressful situation. In itself I would say it was depressing although I would not have considered myself as being depressed. I was just trying to cope the best way I could  given the circumstances of my life and there may have been times that I was a difficult person to deal with. Actually, I can hold my hand up and say I was probably a bit of a nightmare at times. There are times when all you can deal with is what is in front of you. I know that I developed a sort of tunnel vision really only able to deal with the situation that was my life. People couldn't get my attention about anything else and if they happened to for a short while they just couldn't hold it. I was just too deeply entrenched in all the hurt and the difficulties that made up my life. Sometimes I used to think "All I need is a hug to dissolve into to get me through today." Times have changed my life has changed the stress has eased up, many...

On the face of it you could say I live a charmed life. There are not many people who can spend the afternoon mucking about down at the shore with their wee dog. Walloping about the rock pools, looking at the different types of seaweed...feeling their texture ugh, wondering about some of the funny shaped pepples and rocks...Watching the birds ... while having an internal dialogue with yourself about the futility of human existence. Mid week or any time I can't say as I know many people who would have the time or even the inclination to wallop about the shore. I think perhaps I have slipped back into my childhood. That time when life was charmed.

Life holds us in high esteem It offers us a chance to dream When young and strong, when Boundless hopes are high We reach, we strive to touch the sky. Unstoppable, our youth is want To make us stupid and arrogant. But, then our time has passed And we look back in woe Did we live our dreams , hit the heights? Ohh  no. Life passed as we ‘got on with it’ it seems Life passed, and so did pass our dreams.

In a few seconds You’d lost your name. In ten, your life. Ten seconds… slowed For eternity For all the world to see. We turned away. In shock and grief. We could not take The starkness of The sight Of you falling One among many (that day). Some turned to faith Some only saw Man’s naked cruelty To man. And in distress Turned right away. Turned right away. Tomorrow and the Next day and… No matter how Much time will pass. I will never forget The man falling. The world changing.

I believe that you rarely get what you want out of life, you rarely end up where you imagine that you should. I believe that your journey through life  - often difficult and heartbreaking is never what you imagine. The path you take is often far from how you imagine your life should progress. It is at times surprising, possibly shocking  sometimes distressing. You often grab the joy when you can - store the happy memories for darker times and as your story unfolds you have a notion that you never really had any control ... that is disconcerting because we are taught from an early age about things such as free will and choice..So surely we should have not just the appearance of control in our lives but some sort of control in how our lives turn out? Some people cannot be happy - they can't let themselves be because they cannot - or did not get the things that they want in life. I believe that it is no bad thing to recognise that life did not turn out as you wanted it to, ...

"Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until he has something to forgive." C.S. Lewis   The concept of forgiveness is bound up with the idea of healing and with one person asking for forgiveness, or expressing their sorrow for some wrong they committed against another and the other person forgiving them.  Some believe the purist form of forgiveness is the sort that is not asked for. Think of the story of the prodical son ...there is no mention of forgiveness - the father just rejoices that he has his son back and throws a party.  The bible has an abundance of instructions on loving your enemies and forgiving your tresspassers. " For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you," Mathew 6:14 Oscar Wilde's quote "Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much." has a cynical and ironic twist with an element of truth in it.  John F Kennedy's quote "Forgive your enemies, but never forget th...

Ovid said “Love is a kind of warfare” and maybe he was right. I do believe that love brings with it a kind of friction - it can be full of cares and fears. If your world is already knee deep with cares and fears you may not feel that you can ‘deal’ with the sort of friction that love will bring or the kind of pain that it leaves in its wake. I see friction in some of the couples I know, with some of them it is that positive friction that comes with the passion they have for one another; with others it is a negative friction of trying to make themselves (and each other) believe that they still have that sort of love when they do not. Where love is concerned our hearts can be quite feeble and fickle. Something we tend to forget is that love rarely lasts forever. Some people choose the comfort and contentment of their own solitude rather than the emotional turmoil of having  to deal with the sort of friction that love brings. Most however will always want love to ...

I read a report in The Inquisitr about Victoria Beckham going into hospital for a C Section. C. Sections are apparently fashionable among the rich and famous, they have a tummy tuck and some people claim there is no pain. Having had a C section I would take issue about this claim - it is a major operation! Reading the responses to the article I believe that Victoria Beckham has chosen to have a C. Section which made me think how illogical people are. Choosing to have a major operation without any medical reason seems to me to be totally irrational. Which goes to show that there is no such thing as rational or irrational thought. There is just 'thought'. The craziest of thoughts can be argued as rational and reasonable - if that is what you truely want to believe.

Some quite interesting trivia about the Declaration of Independence. Outside of America it was first published in the Belfast Newsletter on the 23rd of August, 1776. A copy of the document was being transported to London when bad weather forced the ship to port at Derry. The document was then carried on horseback to Belfast for the continuation of its voyage to England, where a copy was made for the Belfast newspaper. Eight of the fiftysix signatories on the document were of Ulster-Scots Presbyterian stock. They were John Hancock, President of the Continental Congress who had family ties in Co.Down; William Whipple, whose parents arrived in Maine from the North of Ireland in 1730; Robert Paine, his grandfather came from Dungannon; Thomas McKean (his father came from Ballymoney); Thomas Nelson, his grandfather came from Strabane; Matthew Thornton from Londonderry, he settled in New Hampshire in 1718; and George Taylor, son of an Ulster Presbyterian minister and Edward Rutle...

Do you have a soulmate? Is it the person you last see at night before you close your eyes to sleep - the person you see first thing that you wake up? Someone you have an affinity with, a connection so deep, and an understanding that is - simply spiritual...so simple and straightforward that sometimes words are unnecessary. You feel as though they know what you are thinking - sometimes before you are thinking it? When you met this person you felt as though you had known them forever - though you know nothing about them; and you cannot IMAGINE them not ever being in your life again. Do you have a person like that in your life? Plato's story of soulmates in 'The Symposium.' tells us that humans once had four arms and four legs and a single head made up with two faces. They could walk upright, both backwards and forwards and they could also go down on four arms and four feet tumbling along at a terrific pace when they wanted to run. "Terrible was their might and strength,...

This morning looking through my sock drawer, I found one polka dot sock two stripey socks (different coloured) - A Pink fluffy sock, a blue fluffy sock. A sock with hearts and one with stars! A plain brown one, A few more stripey ones all different colours -two white ones with different coloured bands, a pink one with a hole in the toe and one pair of simple white! The search made me think of the nature of individuality. Are my socks straining to lose each other to assert their own individuality? I did not think "perhaps it is time for me to get more organised"

I believe that the world from a human centric point of view is totally irrational. Life itself though is totally rational, unemotional-unsentimental and extremely creative. From the most basic unicellular organism to the more complicated one life finds a way. Some people say that life can be called 'the absense of death' but I doubt if that would explain what life is and life thrives on death. Think of the havoc bacteria or a virus can unleash in the human body. It doesn't matter whether an organism is simple or complicated..Life just keeps on going - evolving - adapting. That is what life is about.

Some people believe that knowledge sets us free. Perhaps it gives us the means and the tools to better our situation in the world; but I do not believe that it frees us. Knowledge leaves us open to all sorts of foolishness and stupidity. There is a belief that progress (or scientific advancement) is our species driven destiny but for all the good that can come from scientific advancement; a better standard of living, a longer life span- there also comes the capacity to destroy and kill on a magnitude never before imagined. We only need to look at the modern world to see the evidence of this. If you think about how we have advanced as a species you could become fearful for the future. Plato believed that the highest form of human activity was contemplation. There was once a time when being human was not so much about changing the world but seeing it. I mean by ’seeing it’ that there is a spiritual or metaphysical component to life that needs to be understood and explained. Plato bel...

What of people who appear briefly in a life; lives that clash and meld- (in the grand scheme of things)-momentarily. They are as falling stars or arcing rainbows trailing across the sky tapering off in wisps ending in no particular place. They are the bitter after taste of dark chocolate. Time passes and they become vague mixed up memories. If they had a lesson to teach, a story to tell or a role to play in that life, that moment has passed. They have slipped into the ether of another reality. BUT WHAT, IF ANYTHING, IS LEFT?

Love is like a stranger who comes Knocking at your door. Some people throw their door open wide; their light shines out like the energy of a sun, bright, blinding - they are the embodiment of optimism and enthusiasm. They are not fettered by inhibitions or fears but are awe inspiring by their brightness and their boldness. Other people open their door, but not so wide. Their light is strong - it holds a promise.  They are imbued with a sense of expectation and anticipation. Their light may not be blinding but it is still awe inspiring all the same. And then there are the people who hear the knock at the door. Sitting at the kitchen table they dim their light as low as it will go - so as it won't be noticed. They do not want to be noticed, they have had their fill of strangers knocking at their door. Perhaps they have been consumed  by fear, or disappointments. No matter what the reason their light does not shine forth either blindingly or strong with possibilities. It doe...

Do you remember the first time some kid came up to you and said “Hey Missus do ya have the right time?” You almost looked around to see who they were talking to because you weren’t a ‘Missus’! You weren’t much older than them – and then you realised that they thought you looked old enough to be a ‘Missus’. Disconcerting does not even begin to describe that moment, suddenly and irreversibly you had joined the ranks of adulthood in someone else’s eyes and you felt a bit of a fraud because in your heart you still felt yourself a kid. Back then, I was studying sociology. I was being taught about the demographics of population and the ageing population to be specific. The forecast for the future was that in twenty or thirty years there would be more old people in the United Kingdom than young people. Blow me down if that time isn’t here already, and I still feel a bit of a fraud thinking I am going to grow up any day now. – Ageing is not just a physical thing it is a state of mind and a...

If life is all bewildering what is love? The thing that grinds us down and brings us to our knees; a metaphysical notion with all the power that an idea can wield or a concrete reality. - Perhaps all those things? A part of life that is our weakness and our strength. They say with love you will find reserves of strength, compassion, hope and faith you never knew you had and because of love you will feel your heart crack and break many times over in the course of your life time. "To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen, Are we grist to its mill or could we live a life in the absence of love? Since life is so...

I am going to die Climbing up a mountain Swimming in the sea. Doing Something dangerous Will be the end of me. I won't stay -- won't linger Surrender breath by breath. I would rather rush Toward my impending death. To depend on others' mercy To be a burden or a curse S'not my idea of of living. I can think of nothing worse So I am going to die Climbing up a mountain Or swimming in the sea. Doing something dangerous Will be the death of me.

I believe that happiness is that joyful lighthearted abandonment that comes when you can partake of the pleasures or activities in life that enhance your self esteem, self awareness and world awareness. When you look around you and are heartened by the view should it be a beautiful pastoral scene or a gritty dark backstreet view. I think it feels transcient because perhaps that light headedness gradually starts to dissipate but if what we are left with is a sense of contentment, a tranquility of mind and a sense of inner peace and well being then we have true happiness. So I agree with Epicurus that Pleasure is the goal in achieving happiness. Life is brimful of pleasure from sharing a meal and a drink with friends to going for a walk in the park, or even just sitting reading a book. If you sit and think "You know Love, or feel loved and love in return" think how happy that makes you feel? Think how lucky you are. Sometimes I think the people who are the most unhappy are the ...